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White Picket Fences: Turning toward Love in a World Divided by Privilege, by Amy Julia Becker
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Review
Sometimes realizing your privilege starts with looking at your bookshelf.Amy Julia Becker, author of White Picket Fences, began to consider the whiteness of her bookshelf, a bookshelf found acting “not as a door but as a mirror, a mirror that shows me my white skin, my stable and traditional family, my remote and safe neighborhood, and little of the expansive world outside [her] door†(19). As Becker quickly discovered in an attempt to read quality children’s literature with her three children, privilege often starts with noticing who’s not on your bookshelf – which for her meant realizing that there weren’t any books that featured children of different ethnic or racial backgrounds.Nearly every character in the books she loved and filled her shelves with was white.Connecting the dots from her bookshelf to her identity as a white, straight, middle-to-upper class, educated woman meant coming to grips with the reality of a privilege that had always been hers. But if waking up to the reality of privilege ultimately means learning to use and lay down this same privilege for good, a journey of noticing and deconstructing first must take place.Like her previous books, A Good and Perfect Gift and Small Talk, Becker’s writing centers in story and in the art of telling good stories about herself and the people in her life. Perhaps most profoundly, the author is most able to identify privilege through her relationship with her oldest daughter, Penny, who was born with Down syndrome. Had it not been for Penny’s presence in her life, she might still feel dismissive or even bewildered by controversy (136), but being in intimate relationship with her daughter helped her make connections to other injustices bought by the price of privilege.“As I have learned more about the history of people with intellectual disabilities,†she writes, “I have seen the parallels in their treatment to that of other oppressed groups†(137). I found myself nodding my head in agreement, because when the conversation becomes personal, we are changed. When we see how the heights and depths of how oppression affects those we intimately, actually know, then we are changed.Although Becker writes to a Christian audience, the message is universal: if love lives at the core of our identity as human beings, then the power of love is big enough to change the way we interact with the world around us – just as it’s big enough for every single one of us to not only be given a seat at the table but to be offered the seat of honor and lifted up to a place of power.And in that way, I hold onto a little bit of hope. Amy Julia Becker shows me that the tides of white supremacy and colonization might actually be turning, one conversation, one lament and one realization of privilege at a time. (Cara Meredith, writer, speaker, and author of The Color of Life: A Journey toward Love and Racial Justice)
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Review
Discussing the reality of privilege is both uncomfortable and essential. In White Picket Fences, Amy Julia Becker explores this critically important topic without being heavy-handed or didactic. I was pulled in from page one by Amy Julia’s writing, which is warm, honest, and inviting as she beautifully explores her own life and story of privilege. Compelling, wise, and vital. (Tish Harrison Warren, author of Liturgy of the Ordinary: Sacred Practices in Everyday Life)White Picket Fences bravely confronts privilege whilst challenging readers to do the same. As Becker gets personal with her reader, she offers more than perceived answers: She offers space and grace. At a time when allies continue to peel back the layers of privilege in their lives, White Picket Fences is timely! (Carolina Hinojosa-Cisneros, Tejana poet and freelance writer)As a white mother of black children, this topic is nuanced and highly personal for me. Amy Julia masterfully created a safe space for my heart to explore what has otherwise felt like a loaded subject. This is a book for every thoughtful soul. (Sara Hagerty, author of Unseen: The Gift of Being Hidden in a World That Loves to Be Noticed)Renouncing privilege isn’t always possible―or even desirable. In White Picket Fences, Amy Julia enters this conversation with wisdom and candor, inviting the reader to consider the transforming power of grace and gratitude to direct what we’ve been given to do the work of love. (Rachel Marie Stone, author of Birthing Hope: Giving Fear to the Light)A writer of beauty, bravery, and compassion takes on a topic as searingly painful as it is depressingly timely. As she shares her own journey so unsparingly, Becker nudges readers toward self-reflection, inspiring hope for new beginnings and opening hearts to healing. (Rachel Simon, author of Riding the Bus with My Sister)Through Amy Julia’s raw and vulnerable story-telling, I discovered not only the harm my own privilege has caused but also a God-birthed desire to actively engage in reconciliation and healing. Captivating and deeply personal, White Picket Fences is Amy Julia’s best work yet. (Jeannie Cunnion, author of Mom Set Free)It takes a special kind of writer―a special kind of person―to write about privilege in a vulnerable way. Amy Julia Becker is exactly such a writer and such a person. Becker offers an unflinching examination of what obligations and obstacles come with privilege in a world marred by so many injustices done to those without the advantages many of us take for granted. White Picket Fences is a must-read for all who wish to break down the barriers that divide our communities and our nation today. (Karen Swallow Prior, author of On Reading Well)I want to read every word Amy Julia Becker writes. No one I know captures so completely the ache and the joy of being human. White Picket Fences is her most compelling book yet, tackling one of the thorniest topics of our time and illuminating it with honesty, humility, and hope. Privilege so often involves a conspiracy to forget, and this book gently, unflinchingly insists that we remember. But it also helps us believe that in a world so often torn by violence and indifference, love can still have the last and best word. (Andy Crouch, author of Strong and Weak: Embracing a Life of Love, Risk, and True Flourishing)If there were ever a writer who can wrest beauty out of deep complexity and pain, it is Amy Julia Becker. Written with elegant honesty, her new book explores the burden of privilege and the responsibility and call to steward it well. I’m grateful for Becker’s willingness to wade into deep waters and to emerge from them with a timely vision of human flourishing for all. (Katelyn Beaty, author of A Woman's Place)Without shaming or victimizing, Becker considers painful truths and beautiful possibilities for healing the divisions of our present moment. (Gabe Lyons, founder of Q Ideas)A deeply human book. As a woman who shares many of Becker’s advantages, I’ve been immensely helped, by Becker’s words, to begin believing that God can use our suffering―and our privilege―for good. (Jen Pollock Michel, author of Teach Us to Want)Amy Julia Becker allows us to enter an important―but not easy―spiritual journey of awakening and enlightenment. Beautifully and elegantly written in prose that does not allow us to shrink from a painful reality, Becker challenges us to move out of the stagnant state of “benign†racism. Without “white-explaining,†Becker presents a convincing story of everyday privilege, a disruption of that privilege, and a necessary transformation. (Soong-Chan Rah, author of Many Colors: Cultural Intelligence for a Changing Church)Amy Julia is an exceptionally skilled writer, no doubt about that. But what I admire most about this book is that she is opening herself up to being raked over. She doesn’t have to do it. Nevertheless, it is obvious she believes that coming to terms with white privilege and naming it for what it is matters more to her than her reputation. She doesn’t shy away from the good, the bad, and the ugly of her privileged upbringing. While gentle and beautiful, this book is hard-hitting and will force us to confront the truth about our history. The question is: Will we? (Marlena Graves, author of A Beautiful Disaster)
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Product details
Paperback: 240 pages
Publisher: NavPress (October 2, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1631469207
ISBN-13: 978-1631469206
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.5 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.8 out of 5 stars
61 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#44,443 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Loved this book. As a white woman who grew up in a very "privileged" home on the East Coast, I have been trying to engage in the conversations about race and privilege that are happening in my city (Boston) but have increasingly felt like I didn't even understand the issues enough to really engage. Amy Julia Becker's honest and frank account of her upbringing gently sheds light on the issues that privilege causes; the divisions, separation, and insularity it inflicts on the under privileged and those with privilege. It is, on the one hand, a beautifully written account of her childhood and her adult and family life, and on the other hand, an examination of that life with the eyes of an adult seeking truth and honesty about her privileged upbringing. I was impressed at her ability to admit fault and failure as a woman in her community and as a parent, and related to so much of what she said. I also found the second half of the book very helpful, where she leads the reader towards a "so what now?" conclusion that is based in grace and love and confession. It has shaped my thinking and encouraged me to engage with my community in a humble way.
My copy of this book is underlined all over the place! "Privilege provides for material needs, but it seems to work against the fulfillment of other human needs. Instead, privilege correlates with some of the shadows of the human experience-eating disorders and anxiety and substance abuse, among others". As a senior high youth leader, I am better equipped to guide and counsel and ask good questions to my students who span the "privilege spectrum".I haven't met Amy Julia Becker yet, but the church I grew up in is her church and my childhood home town is her adult home town. It was interesting to read about her walks around the green, to and from the library and be able to picture it all so clearly. She is a great writer. Her vulnerability and honesty made me adore her.Personally I grew in many ways from reflecting on all the things she says. White Picket Fences is our book clubs next pick. I can't wait to discuss it...We are inviting the author to attend, if it works out with her schedule.
One of the chapters that moved me most was, "Privilege Walk." During an exercise in college, the author and her classmates were instructed to "Take one step forward" if they'd traveled abroad, had parents who attended college or enjoyed other advantages and to "Take one step back" if they were raised in a high crime area, a single parent household, or had ever been questioned by the police because of their race. She writes, "All of us who advance to the front of the room have white skin." She reflects that the exercise was "designed to demonstrate the unwitting advantages of privilege." Becker describes "White Picket Fences" as a "confession"--both of guilt and of faith. She writes that she has come to understand that privilege is not in and of itself a sign of God's blessing, but a fact of life that can be used for good or ill. This book, like its author, is tough, smart, and compassionate. I highly recommend to people who would find themselves at the front of the room if they were to do a "privilege walk." You'll be able to work through unsettling questions, histories, and feelings and, I believe, finish the book refreshed and ready to love.
This book touched me to the core. As a white woman of privilege, it was difficult to accept the raw truths that White Picket Fences forced me to see and admit to. As the grandmother of two bi racial children, it is incumbent upon me to try harder, work harder and love harder to make even the littlest difference. Amy Julia has thoughtfully exposed, through her own stories and experiences, how critical it is to encourage change through faith, love and compassion. This book inspires self reflection, action, openness, clarity of perspective and empathy. By describing her personal story so eloquently, sparing no vulnerabilities, Amy Julia encourages us to be our loving best, in whatever way we can. This is a must read for any and all!
I read everything Amy Julia writes. Through vulnerable storytelling and wise teaching, she invites the reader into her story to wrestle with her questions and engage her struggles. White Picket Fences is no exception. In an increasingly divided world, Amy Julia engages the tough questions about privilege and uses her wise voice to bridge the gap. Her brilliant book is the best thing I've read on the topic and I feel simultaneously encouraged in my own experience and challenged to confront my own destructive tendencies when it comes to my own privilege. I will recommend this book to everyone.
Like many others I am seeking to understand what "white privilege" means and I want to be part of the solution. I was anxious to read White Picket Fences by Amy Julia because I knew her briefly and admired her ability to write and speak about difficult topics with humility, transparency, depth of knowledge and courage.There are social and political issues that deeply divide our country and the world today. Through stories , historicalreflections and openness about her personal struggles Amy shows us that privilege harms all of us. In seeking solutions she encourages conversation not confrontation, blessing not bitterness, citizenship not partisanship and huge doses of forgiveness, trust and love.This book will resonate well with women. She provides 22 questions for discussion which makes it ideal for bookclubs. For further reading there are extensive sources cited in the notes. White Picket Fences encourages me that I canmake a difference and I can change the world. Amy Julia tells us "small ripples can address the massive expanseof the need" ( pg 165 ) This book will help you learn how to become a small ripple of healing in a world in need.
I would recommend this book to anyone with a social conscience. It is not a lecture on how to behave but more on how to recognize the subtleties we whites assume our rights thinking that everyone else has the same opportunities and protections. A difficult read, but one that gives great hope.
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